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Untitled
She sits alone, and listens to her music.
She is broken down, but she doesnt care. She sits
alone in her room, thinking of the life she was given.
She doesnt want it, and wishes she could give it back.
The hurt in her heart overpowers her will to live. She cant take it
anymore. Her head is full of pain, hate and confusion.The pain spills out
in her blood taken from her wrists. As the blood falls, she thinks. She slices again,
and once more for all the people in her life causing her that pain. She wishes it was her last cut.
But it wont be.
10-Nikii-11
2004
Release Me
I cant stand this shit,
Life sucks and I hate it.
Fuck everyone, hate em all
Im sick of caring about everyone,
And never getting any back.
Fuck life, fuck it all.
Why do I have to live?
Be constantly guilt-tripped into staying alive?
LIke anyone would care if I killed myself.
Right now its the only thing
I care about, only thing i want,
is to be released from this hell.
So this shiny gray razor,
laying in my hands,
Its the only thing I trust.
It will release me,
And even if anyone cared if I died,
They obviously dont that much.
Otherwise they would show it.
So what is there to live for?
Love? Thats shit. It fades after a while.
Friends? They deserve better than me.
Family? Most of the time, I cant even be nice to them.
Show them how much I care.
Blah Blah Blah.
With all this hate in me, pain in my life,
Like I should stay.
But I will, I dont even fucking know why.
But later, life will fuck me over again,
And I will be gone.
8-Nikii-22
2004
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Numb
My arm has gone numb,
and is stained red.
The blood keeps flowing,
and im still in tears.
The pain is still here,
I cant stop the thoughts.
or get rid of the pain.
All I want is a new chance.
A chance to start over,
Maybe not end up as fucked up as i am.
But then again, maybe not.
Now I just dont care.
The depression came back,
and its worse than before,
But its who I am now,
I really dont care.
Ive learned not to.
From all the pain in me,
The feelings go away.
My arms arent the only ones numb now.
10-Nikii-06
2004
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Soul Returned
Lacerated and in pieces,
Broken down for so many years,
Siezed up by the hands of a child.
The child who had always wanted out.
Kept and restrained inside of me.
Gently put together again.
Giving my eyes a new way to see,
Letting myself regain years I had missed,
Seeing things lightly again,
Laughing at the small things,
Feeling my heart lift up in happiness.
The soul that I had lost long ago,
Has been returned.
4-Nikii-30
2004
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