Help Me Escape

Isn’t it obvious?

Why should I have to shout it out.

I don’t want to live,

I hate every breath I take,

Why can’t you tell?

Don’t you see it in how I act,

The alcohol I gulp,

The marks all over my body…

I don’t want to live.

I was forced into a life,

A life I don’t want,

Take it away from me.

Can’t you see how much misery I’m in?

Or my lips moving, begging you.

I don’t need any help,

All I want is an escape.

12-Nikii-28

2004

One Bullet

You’ve dragged me down into these lonely pits,

You left me in this cold hell with only one bullet.

I would’ve gladly shot you when you turned and walked away from me.

I’ve been stuck down here for what seems like my whole life,

It’s messed with my head, messed with my body.

I’ve turned out a whole new person.

I still havent found an escape, but I won’t use your bullet.

You may have dragged me down low, but not as low as you think.

You’ve put me through hell, and you’ll pay.

It won’t be from me though.

I hate you for what you have done,

But I still love you.

I can’t use that bullet on you, and I won’t use it on me.

When I escape though, you’ll feel as though it went through your heart.

You will wish you never did it to me, and you’ll realize your mistake.

12-Nikii-30

2004

Tell Me

Tell me its ok. Tell me im strong enough to overcome it. Convince me that I can make it, because I don’t think I can. Hold me in your arms, help me realize someones there for me. Look into my eyes so I can really see that it’s ok. Take me away so I cant do it all again. How can something I hate so much be so tempting? Why do I even feel like this? How can I hate him so much, but care for him more? Please tell me I don’t love him. Tell me its all a dream. Tell me its ok.

1-Nikii-1

2005

Darkened Girl

Everything about her is cold and dark.

Her eyes are like black holes,

Sucking everything in, but showing nothing.

Her lips are like a statue,

Cold and never moving.

Her skin is as cold as ice,

And her heart is frozen over.

All she sees and feels is pain.

Pain she can’t escape,

She’s frozen to the ground.

Frozen from the confusion, hate and anger towards life.

Frozen from the pain, from no one there to lean on.

She can’t escape, but now she’s too numb to feel any of it.

Her mind has gone blank.

All she can think about is death, pain, and suffering.

She doesn’t care about any of it anymore.

12-Nikii-31

2004

Humanity

We all lust for paradise,

Live in false hopes and get let down.

We are all just sheep following mindlessly

We weren’t supposed to be this way,

So why is everyone like this?

Worshipping false gods, loving media more than family,

Stabbing loved ones in the back, being hurt so bad it causes self harm,

No-one seems to get it.

Get what is going wrong.

There is no use for a paradise to go to anymore.

12-Nikii-30

2004